Thinking of You
by take5
Summary: COMPLETE. Bill's thoughts after his final conversation with Karen in 6.23 One shot for now but there will most likely be a second chapter.
1. Chapter 1

The line suddenly went dead. I feel the urge to call out her name but I know its useless.

She's gone.

Suddenly I regret not saying more to her but with Jack sitting next to me the thought of baring my soul seems a little embarrassing. I feel horrible that the conversation was one-sided, we both have things that need to be said, but there a million thoughts running though my head.

_She risked everything…she got caught…she's being arrested at this very moment…my wife is being arrested…I hope she tells them exactly what they want to know…I know all too well what they do to people who give them a hard time…dear god Karen just tell them what they want to know…if I find out they ever laid a hand on her someone's going to die…_

Jack says something that I don't quite hear.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I ask turning to him.

"Turn left up here," he repeats quietly. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat before looking at me.

"She'll be ok. Karen knows how these things are done. Besides she's too important and high-profiled for them to do anything rash. Everything will be ok."

I swallow hard and thank him. It's a little freaky that he knows what I'm thinking. Am I that easy to read? Karen would say yes and suddenly my thoughts are back to her. Its painful to think that she is sitting in a dark, cold room alone.

_She shouldn't be there…I shouldn't be here…we should both be in Vermont living the life of newlyweds…not on separate coasts and practically being convicts…_

Jack's cell phone rings and he answers. Its Chloe. They talk quietly and my mind wanders back to Karen.

Our conversation was short but meaningful. Her apology, while very unnecessary, was nice to hear. I know she is sorry she didn't need to say it. Though the apology was nothing compared to her saying she loved me. I am certain that no matter how many years go by her saying that will always be the sweetest thing. I am at least grateful that after giving her the cold shoulder for the past three hours I told her I loved her too. Well, kind of told her. I glance at Jack who is ending his call. In an instant he shifts closer to the dashboard and points out the windshield.

"Right over there," he shouts. I bring the truck to a halt and get ready to jump out. Jack is already two steps ahead of me. I'm so not used to fieldwork. As I grab my gun and get ready to follow Jack I pray that he is right. I pray that for once Karen's high-powered, fast-paced career works in our favour. I hope that it protects her from any harm and that instead of forcing us a part it will at last bring her back home to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**I forgot to add a message to the first chapter. Lol, sorry! No, I didn't mention this story in advance. It kind of just came out! Thanks for the reviews-I hope you enjoy this one!**

Pulling into the driveway I can see that almost every light in the house is on. I was in such a rush to intercept Jack that I left my home filled with FBI agents. I have no doubt that all of our personal belongs are carelessly thrown about. I don't want to go inside, at least not just yet. The whole house reminds me of her. This is the reason I work so hard when she is away. Being anywhere else than CTU reminds me of her absence. I turn off the ignition and look at the clock. 6:35. I feel like sleeping for a million years but the sun is coming up and I know that I will never be able to sleep.

I finally drag myself into the house and congratulate myself on being right in my prediction. Drawers are open, boxes all over the floor, and papers are everywhere.

But it is the picture frame lying on the ground that grabs my attention. It is a picture of us wearing red leis on our honeymoon and it also happens to be one of my favourites. Karen has the same one in D.C. I hope she remembers to bring it back because this one is now ruined, thanks to the shattered glass of the frame. Running my hand through my hair I begin to clean up the mess that is my house. I think back to the last time I saw her.

_Two months ago…the afternoon she left for Washington…at the airport waiting for her flight…we were both exhausted…too much worrying on my part…too much crying on hers…the long passionate night before…it had caught up with us…I remember holding her tightly…I also remember promising her I would visit the following weekend…_

I finish cleaning the house and realize that its almost 9 o'clock. I start to worry again. I call her cell and get no answer. I call her office and get her secretary who tells me that Ms. Hayes is out of the office and not returning. And even though I am her husband she does not have the authority to tell me where she went and whether or not she is ok.

I wonder briefly if I should contact lawyer. Not for me but for her. Well ok, also for me. I can only go for so many hours not knowing if she is safe. Since I am no longer director of CTU breaking through the security of the White House to get answers will be near impossible. A legal team will look more intimidating.

I realize I need to have more faith in her. I can be too protective of her and forget how capable she is. I keep this mantra running through my head like an affirmation to keep me sane.

_She will call…she will be ok…she will call…she will be ok…she will call…she will be ok…_

This is a waste of time. When it comes to her I will never be able to take another easy breath without knowing that she is safe and sound. I consider calling some family but decide against it. No need to worry anyone else until I have more answers.

I pick up the phone and make reservations to be one the next plane out to D.C. This is my only source of comfort right now. I am disappointed that the earliest flight is at 7:30 tonight but am told because of the terrorist attacks that all flights are being limited. I head to our bedroom to pack but find myself sitting on our bed staring at the wall.

_What I wouldn't give to see her walk through that door…Karen, walk through that door…come home to me…_

I pack two suitcases of clothes, mostly mine but also some of hers. I place them by the front door ready to go when I am.

My eyes shut and I realize that I need to get some sleep. If only for a couple hours and I heave myself back upstairs. A quick shower and I am lying in bed looking up at the ceiling. Funny how tired you can be but once you are in bed ready for sleep it never comes. Despite the sunlight and the sound of the children playing next door I finally manage to fall asleep where she can infiltrate not just my waking thoughts but also now my dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter three! For those who are wondering why Karen never called it will be revealed in the next chapter. ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!!**

I can hear rain drops hitting the roof and window before I even open my eyes. I turn on my side to look at the clock. 3:30 PM. At first I think its wrong and grab my watch lying on the night stand. But it is still half way through the afternoon and I can't believe I slept for as long as I did.

A flash of panic runs through me and I pick up the phone, half hoping that there is a message from her telling me that she is safe and half hoping that there isn't. I couldn't bear the thought of having missed her call and the chance to hear her voice simply because I was too tired. But there isn't a message and I slouch back in defeat. Maybe I wanted that message more than I thought.

Staring out the window I see how dark and stormy it is. Its strange how fast the weather changed in a couple of hours. Though I suppose I should know how fast things can change. I think this new weather is a much better representation of my mood and that of the country's. Maybe this is what we need. To wash away all the horrible events that happened and start fresh. I hope this doesn't delay my flight.

Dragging myself out of bed I decide to take another shower. I take my time standing under the hot water hoping it can relieve the pain in my neck and shoulders. Field work never used to hurt this much, another nice reminder of how I have aged. I climb out and grab an aspirin before getting dressed. As I head downstairs I make a mental list of everything I need to bring with me.

Only when I am satisfied with this list do I go into the kitchen and grab an apple and a bottle of water. Looking out the window at the rain coming down I realize that Karen would be livid if she knew that I haven't been eating and sleeping properly. She said it was the thing she was worried about the most while she was gone. When I reassured her that I was a bachelor for many years and survived she rolled her eyes and said that was questionable. But the truth is I have become quite dependent on her.

I am about to check the locks on the windows and back door when I hear someone outside. In an instant I am in CTU mode and I immediately regret having gotten rid of my gun. Peeking around the corner I can see that someone is standing outside the front door and I am relieved to remember that I had locked it. But when I hear the door open I rush into the hallway.

And there she is. She is soaked and slightly shivering. For a small moment we stand there staring at each other.

_My wife…my beautiful wife…she's here…she is standing ten feet away from me…its been two months…but here she is…what are you doing…say SOMETHING…_

But she beats me to it. Glancing at my suitcases by the door she looks at me.

"Are you leaving me?" Her tone is playful but her eyes say that she is scared of the possible answer. Something we'll have to talk about later but right now all I can think about is how much I love her.

I still can't speak but move forward so fast I startle her. I wrap my arms around her not caring if I get wet. She embraces me and lets out a small yet content sigh. Running my hand through her damp hair I place several kisses on her forehead. We rock gently back and forth in the silence neither of us in a rush to speak. We have all the time in the world because now that she is back in my arms I am never letting go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here you go! This one is slightly longer but I didn't want to divide it up. There will be one more chapter but it will be fairly short and serve more just as a closing to the story. Thanks for the reviews and enjoy!**

What seemed like hours has only actually been minutes. It is only when I realize that the front door is still open that I pull away from her. The rain is coming down harder and I just want to shut it out.

Closing the door I turn back to her expecting to return to her arms but she has walked off. I find her in the living room taking it all in as if it has been years since she has been home.

I notice her shiver slightly and I take her jacket off, her eyes never leaving the broken picture of us sitting on the desk. I take her hand leading her to the couch and she looks at me.

I acknowledge that I have yet to say something to her. I feel guilty that I have not said a word. I feel rushed and say the first thing that I can think of.

"You're here." I said it so quietly I wonder if she even heard. She does and nods with a small smile but there are tears in her eyes.

"What happened to our picture," she asks her voice breaking as she tries her best not to cry.

"The FBI agents must have knocked it over while they were searching the house. I came home and found it on the ground."

She's clutching my hand tightly looking around the room and I realize that she's nervous. She knows just as well as I do that we need to talk but she remains silent. I decide to take it slow.

"Karen, what happened? I was so worried about you. I tried calling your cell and your office. I booked a flight out to D.C I'm supposed to be on my way to the airport now. I-" stopping short I take a deep breath. "I was so scared."

I look into her eyes and she places her hand on my cheek. She's smiling but there is still some fear in her eyes.

"Shh, its ok. I'm ok." Moving her hand to my shoulder she squeezes it. "Tom Lennox happened. He managed to convince the Vice President to not press charges and stopped the DOJ in their crusade against you. So, we resign quietly and our reputations remain intact without fear of persecution."

I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"This all happened just in time too. They were about to transfer me to FBI headquarters and God only knows what would have happened there."

I wince at the possibilities and I am once again thankful that she seems unharmed.

"How was detainment? Did anyone hurt you?" The questions come out more forceful than I had intended. She waves her hand carelessly and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"No, sweetheart. Just verbal interrogation. But I didn't deny anything so it was pretty quick."

I nod but with that out of the way I want to move on to a touchier subject-our marriage. But I remember that her clothes are still wet from the rain and because of our earlier embrace so are mine.

I usher her upstairs into our bedroom. Searching the near empty drawers I find her an old sweater and pair of jeans. I hand them to her and go off in search of something dry for me. After we are both in drier clothes I feel the need to go make coffee but I know that this is all in attempt to further delay the much needed conversation.

I go to say something but she is first to speak.

"I'm so sorry Bill," she chokes, tears pouring down her tired face. "I shouldn't have fired you. I should have stood up for you and for our marriage. I regret it more than you will ever know." Her body shakes with each sob and I am taken back.

_I expected an apology…but not this…this is desperation…she's avoiding eye contact…she does that when she is afraid…but why…what are you afraid of Karen…_

I close the distance between us and take her face in my hands so she is forced to look at me. She has stopped crying and is searching my face for some sort of answer. My expression softens and I hope that she can see how much I love her.

She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes for a moment. Opening them the fear has resurfaced and she begins to spill her soul out.

"I thought you might have left me. I tried getting a hold of you but I couldn't. I called CTU to see if you were still there but you weren't and they refused to tell me where you were. I called here but the machine was disconnected-"

"Wait-what? I never disconnected the-" I take a deep breath as I think back to our home being raided. "The FBI agents must have disconnected the machine. Karen, honey, I'm so sorry."

She gives me a small smile but I know its too late. There already exists some trauma on her psyche.

"When I walked in and saw the suitcases I thought for sure you were getting ready to leave."

"I was. For Washington," I say trying to lighten the mood. I can't believe she thought I would leave her. After all this time, doesn't she realize that she is my everything?

"Karen," I say sitting her on our bed. "I would never leave you, especially without saying anything. I understand two months of being away may have worn down your faith in us. I would be lying if I said I never questioned the stability of our marriage. But I never questioned us or relationship. There has never been a moment, not one, in the past twenty months that I haven't loved you or not wanted to be with you."

I brush back her hair from her face. She's crying again but this time its not in fear or desperation. She is smiling and reaches for my hand.

"I'm not going anywhere, ok?" Now that the air has been cleared, I change my tone to one of amusement. "Have I told you how happy I am that you're home?"

"I love you Bill," she smiles.

"I love you too," I say wrapping my arms around her. I place a deep, very passionate kiss on her lips and we fall back onto the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter-enjoy! Thank you to all for reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate it! **

Looking over at Karen I don't think I have ever seen her so much at peace. Its 1:30 in the morning and we're in bed. She's sleeping, I'm not. I rarely get to watch her sleep but enjoy it immensely when I do. Its as if all her worry is gone and all that is left is her innocent self.

The windows in our bedroom are open allowing a cool breeze to enter the room and although its summer I still reach for the blanket to cover her up. I place a gently kiss on her shoulder and think of how lucky I am.

It has been six months since her return from Washington and things could not be better. In fact, I think that life is perfect. It didn't take long for us to sell both the house in L.A and her apartment in D.C. We already owned this country house out here in Vermont and after the events of that day we decided that this is where we belonged; away from our previous lives and much closer to family. It also didn't take long for us to fall back into our comfortable routine. Much sooner than I had expected after having nearly two months a part but I take this as a sign that we were meant to be together.

Though life in Vermont is great I often wonder about those we left behind. In L.A there is CTU under the direction of Nadia. She is strong though sometimes unsure but she needn't worry she will do just fine. Doyle ended up being blind in both eyes which is unfortunate for a young man with so much potential. Thankfully he was promoted to an advisory position and not just disposed of like some damaged agents. Chloe and Morris are expecting their first child in just a few months and while I am very happy for the both I am still having difficult imagining Chloe as a mother. We attended Milo's funeral as well as Curtis', a sad reminder of the tragedies that can occur. Audrey is recuperating well under the watchful eye of her father. Last time I spoke to him she was able to form sentences and recognize people this is a step in the right direction. In Washington Vice President Daniels was made President and Tom Lennox was made National Security Advisor.

No has heard from Jack, not even Chloe. I find this strange but remember my words to Nadia and relax slightly. When Jack has healed and is ready to enter the world again he will find us and until then we must let him be.

Karen stirs and I wait to see if she will open her eyes. When she doesn't, I lean over and gently kiss her on the lips. She is still sleeping but a small smile forms which melts my heart. I love our life here and I am glad we left L.A. Now that I know how perfect life can be I would never go back. Our marriage is stronger than ever and I am not going to let anything from our past ever ruin that. For the rest of our life she is my number one priority.

I am brushing her hair off her face with a smile when I hear a noise come from outside. It sounded like something walking along our large, wrap around porch. This wouldn't be the first time an animal has walked onto our property. A risk we took when we bought a house on farmland.

I decide to go investigate before whatever it is decides to crawl through the open window. I move slowly as not to wake Karen and scare off the night intruder. I grab a flashlight from the night stand and make my way to the French doors that lead from our bedroom to the backyard. Before opening them I take one last look at Karen who hasn't moved. As I walk onto the porch I notice the shadow of a figure that is most definitely not an animal. I move closer and the creak in the floors gives away my presence. The figure whips around to face me and I nearly drop the flashlight.

I stand there in shock and the person walks into the light provided by the moon.

"Hi Bill," he says quietly.

"Jack-"

**I'm going to end it there! MUHAHAHA!! **


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